De-Stressing Teens
1. Get Students to move their body
Plenty of research suggests that exercise dramatically reduces stress and depression. Trouble is, no-one who is stressed or depressed feels like exercising. Creative ways to get students moving include; model good habits (kids of exercisers exercise more than kids of non-exercisers), buy the student a gift voucher for a gym/exercise equipment (who can resist free stuff?), drive the student and a friend to a tennis court/pool/volleyball court, ask the student to go for a walk with you, let the student get out of doing the dishes if they walk the dog, encourage any activities which get the student moving (e.g. skating, surfing, dancing).
2. Encourage students to Meditate Man
Meditation is not just for yoga-freaks. Deep breathing and muscle relaxation, even if only done occasionally does reduce stress. Borrow/ buy a meditation or relaxation tape/CD and put it on the students’ bed. Ask them (as a huge favour for you naturally) if they would listen to it, just once. If this won’t work, organise the whole family to have tea together at least once a week, cook a delicious smelling meal, get everyone seated and say they have to close their eyes and breathe deeply for 30 seconds before they get fed.
3. Organise students to Get Out of the House
Take them shopping, to the football, to the movies or out to tea. If they won’t go with you, organise for a family friend to come and pick them up and take them. Even better, get away for a weekend break, whether it be camping, a caravan park or hotel. The money you spend will be worth it for a more relaxed teenager. If they say they’ve got too much homework to do, tell them to bring it along. Even a change in atmosphere can significantly reduce stress.
4. Be prepared to Butt In
Sometimes teenagers gently say, “STAY OUT OF MY LIFE!”. Ignore them. They need you. Young people rarely ask for help, even when they desperately need it. Take the teenager out for a drive and ask questions. “What is the hardest thing for you right now?”. “What can I do to help?”. “Is there anything that makes it worse/better?” “Is there anything else worrying you?” Teenagers have agenda detectors more powerful than any NASA technology. So don’t ask with an agenda and don’t lecture. Ask, and listen.
5. Parenting a teenager is a Team Sport
You’re not running a solo marathon here. If your teenager is struggling (and they all will at some point), ask for help. This might include: visiting a GP (taking the teenager along if they are agreeable, or if not – go yourself) and asking for advice, ringing the school (year level co-ordinator or school counsellor) and giving information and asking for help, ringing a counsellor or psychologist and talking it through with them, taking the teenager to a counselling appointment (“just one, as a favour to your mum/dad”), checking out websites for advice, reading and giving teenagers appropriate books.
Please feel free to reproduce this article with the following acknowledgement: “Kirrilie Smout, Psychologist, www.innovateonline.net”
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