A(nother) NEW GENERATION
By Kirrilie Smout, Psychologist, Speaker, Author, Director of Innovate Psychology and Education
Last week I was talking to a group of “early twenty-something” youth workers to help them more effectively work with teenagers. As we talked, one young man at the back of the room, looked up from his mobile (I’d studiously been ignoring his texting throughout our session!) and commented: “young people today are just so different from us – they expect more, they think differently…I just don’t get them”. All the other twenty two year olds in the room nodded earnestly in agreement!
For the last twelve years, I have worked as a clinical psychologist with teenagers and young adults. For half of my working day I talk to individual young people who are facing challenges in their life. I’ve talked to them about their fears and worries, what makes them angry, what hurts them and what motivates them. I’ve listened to them tell me about their families, their friends, their education, their work places, their leisure time and their relationships.
The other half of my working day, I present seminars to young people in groups – in schools, workplaces, universities and colleges - about how they manage their emotions, get through difficult situations and plan for success.
During this last decade I have discovered a great deal about young people. Some of what I’ve discovered has surprised me, some of it has disappointed me and some of it has inspired me. Sometimes I think they teach me more than I teach them.
One of my key experiences is this: young people I worked with in 1996, are different from the young people I am working with today.
Once upon a time sociologists talked about generational differences in twenty year blocks – the Boomers (born roughly between 1946 and 1964), Generation X (born roughly between 1965 and 1981) and Generation Y (born roughly between 1982 and 2000). Now however, we talk about generations within fifteen years or less.
Generational differences are happening quickly. Why? Because our world is changing more quickly than ever before. In the last ten years, the world of education, employment, technology, family life, global events, the economy – all these have changed significantly. We don’t always notice the changes because they creep up on us while we busily live our lives. It’s the old story about the frog in the gradually boiling water who doesn’t know to jump out. But we can see these world changes more drastically when we take a fresh look at the only world young Australians have ever known.
The “New
18 year olds today have never known a world without violent music lyrics, acknowledged sexual abuse in the church and a world with AIDS, bird flu and Hepatitis C. For young people unemployment is “normal” and so are nightly TV shows with graphic crime scenes. They have never known a world in which marijuana or amphetamines were hard to get. In this “new normal”, divorce is part of the social landscape for at least half of their friends.
Young people today have never known a world where people did not have instant and easy access to pornography, never known a world which wasn’t concerned about global warning, never known a world where teens did not spend 2000 hours a year playing net games (a 50 billion dollar industry) with very realistic violence.
This “new normal” world may occasionally shock and dismay us, but most young people barely give it a second thought.
Greg (* all names in this article changed to protect privacy), 15 said to me: My parents are upset about the net games I play, they say they are gruesome, and that I spend too much time doing it. I try to tell them it’s just a game. All my friends do it.
Australian teens have always lived in a world in which they expect to (and usually can) instantly communicate with almost anyone on the planet. They have always lived in a world in which information on almost anything is accessible by anyone and spell and grammar checkers correct everything they write. They have always known a world in which they can be in constant and private (mobile/net/SMS) contact with a range of peers 24/7. They have only ever known a world where international travel is common and even part of some school trips. Most of their mothers work outside the home, many of their older female relatives choose to be childless.
Young people have always lived in a world with community associations devoted to protection of children and advocacy for minority groups. Most don’t know anyone their age whom has had a child (regardless of socio-economic background), never known a friend to contract polio or small pox, and know fewer and fewer friends who’ve had chicken pox or even a bee sting. Young people today have only known a world in which schools teach subjects diverse as philosophy, psychology, engineering and meditation. They have always lived in a world where their food, information, communication and entertainment are fast and immediate.
For young people, this new world is simply part of the landscape.
Fiona, 18, once said to me: My parents are always on at me to be “grateful”. They keep talking to me about the things I have that they never did. I guess it’s true, but mostly I never think about it. It’s just normal to me.
A
The world you grow up in influences the kind of person you become. Increasing research shows that childhood and adolescent behaviour predicts adult behaviour and also that early experiences have a strong influence on our personality. My belief is this: the world in which this generation were born into, will have a permanent effect on the kind of adults they turn out to be.
This generation is different from us. They have different ways of relating to others, different expectations and different standards of behaviour. They are different from us in the way they think, the things they want and the way they will navigate their way through life. They will parent differently, work differently and lead our country differently. We should be prepared for a new humanity. This generation of young people are creating a new kind of Australian.
But wait, some say. Yes, young people are different. But perhaps these differences exist simply because young people are – well, young. They don’t have the responsibilities of mortgages and kids, and their brain is not fully developed yet. Surely, when they get older, wiser and more responsible – then these differences will fade away, and they will become more like us.
Yes and no.
Yes, there are developmental and age related differences between adults and younger people. Neurostructurally, planning, decision making and impulse resistance skills are not fully developed until our mid twenties. Having adult responsibilities does change some of our values. Biologically, young people have different sleep and nutrition needs. These differences are developmental and will disappear as young people age.
But some differences between generations will remain, regardless of how old a Gen-Yer becomes. Their childhood will have left a lasting legacy. Young people today are different to us, not just because they are young, but because they were created in a different factory.
So let’s talk specifics. If young people are emerging as a different kind of Australian, what exactly are the differences? There are many, but let me just give five.
1. Different expectations – more, easier, faster
Sally, aged 17, once said to me: I was the last person at my school to get a mobile. Seriously, EVERYONE had one except me. As I told my parents, you really just can’t manage without one these days – if you don’t have one, you don’t fit in because people can’t talk to you. It’s not enough to talk at school – if you‘re out of touch at night and on weekends, then you’re out of it.
In a recent Australian study, over 80% of young people said their mobile phone was their second most important possession (after their wallet). But it’s not just mobile phones that young people expect to (and do) own. In research I conducted last year, 70% of teenagers had a computer which was connected to the internet, in their bedroom. 99% of Australian teens have access to at least one TV set in their home. Some studies suggest up to 70% own an MP3 player (a technology which has only been widely available in the last 3 years). Today, we all expect we will have more “stuff” than previous generations did. But young people are particularly susceptible to this expectation, simply because they don’t remember a time in which people didn’t have the things they want.
Not only do young people expect to own more possessions, in many ways they also expect life to be easier and faster. This is a generation used to meals cooked in minutes, or picked up without getting out the car. They have been exposed to fast moving information via all forms of media from an early age. Patience is not a part of their vocabulary.
Young people today have different expectations of life.
2. Expect more independence and decision making at an earlier age
Young people today are exposed to more information at an earlier age. They are given more independence in the home at an earlier age (60% of Gen Y kids had mums who worked, compared to 18% in 1960.) They experience puberty younger. They have sex at a younger age (average age of young Australian first having sex is 16 today, compared to 18 in 1970). They get part time jobs earlier and more frequently (70% combine study with work compared to ????% twenty years ago – K get this ref). They know more technological information than many of their teachers (the average Year 7 can work faster on a computer than their teacher).
Partly as a result of this earlier independence, young people today are less “in awe of” authority than ever before. They are not afraid of being given the strap if they talk back to a teacher, of being rapped over the knuckles if they are defiant with police. Parents often command even less authority. They are sometimes scared if they impose boundaries that the teenager will move out, or they feel too guilty (about working, divorce, or any other myriad of issues) to be too “strict”.
Marketers call this phenomenon KGOY, which stands for Kids Getting Older Younger. An example: products that twenty years ago were marketed to teenage girls are now marketed to and being bought for six – twelve year olds (eg Dolly magazine) and even for 3 year olds (eg Barbie Dolls).
3. Place High value on and highly shaped by friendship
Jen, aged 14: The very worst thing my parents can do to me is to ban me from MSN. I can cope with nearly everything else – but not that. I hate being cut off from my friends, it just kills me.
Today’s young people spend even more (real or cyber) time with their friends than their parents did. Young people stay in education with same aged peers for longer than in previous generations rather than moving into a mixed age workforce. Young people have access to technology that enables them to communicate with their peers 24/7. A survey I conducted with 13-15 year olds recently revealed that these young people spend at least 3-5 hours per week on MSN, talking with friends. In addition, nearly half of this group text friends up until midnight, and nearly one quarter will sometimes text friends throughout the whole night. Their friends are their life and command most of their attention.
4. Fast thinkers and low boredom threshold
Bailey (aged 22): I hate being bored. I don’t want to do a job that bores me.
Young people have been processing rapid-fire audio-visual information, and engaged in more than one activity from the time they could walk. They have grown up in a world in which they have been ferried to increasing numbers of scheduled activities (swimming, music lessons, sport, drama clubs, play dates). At the same time, they have spent less time amusing themselves, and more time being entertained by progressively more fascinating forms of television, computer games and social events (think elaborate parties with bouncy castles for three year olds, expensive graduation celebrations for Year 7’s). Television and film incorporates more visual images per minute than ever before, school learning is not “sit and listen” but about interactive, net based discovery. Young people did not spend their childhood just pushing real trucks around on the floor but instead got to use a hand held remote to make a realistic looking truck speed around an intricate race track environment before watching it vividly exploding into flames.
As a result, young people today think and process information quickly and get bored even faster. There are many advantages to this. They can skim through a paragraph of written information faster than adults. They can make snap evaluations about the usefulness of a website. They don’t suffer fools gladly. They often don’t agonise over decision making. There are also disadvantages to their fast thinking and low boredom threshold. They constantly seek out excitement – and this brings risk. More than half of teens regularly binge drink, nearly half have smoked marijuana and a growing minority take amphetamines. One third of young Australians admit to having unwanted sex when they were drunk or high.
5. Shrewd (and cynical)
Justin (aged 17): My history teacher is hopeless. He should get fired, and I’ve told my principal that. I’ve looked up stuff on the net that he has told us, and he gets it wrong. I’ve had to teach myself this year.
Consider the childhood of a generation Y individual. By the time they finish secondary school, conservative estimates are that they’ve seen half a million television advertisements, deleted one hundred thousand spam messages, closed another one hundred thousand pop up messages and listened to thousands more radio advertisements. The “new normal” world absolutely demands that this generation learn to be cynical – at a very early age.
In addition, they have the resources to find out information for themselves. No longer reliant on teachers or parents to provide information for them, they have learnt to question much of what they hear. No wonder that young people today are more likely to start their own business than ever before.
So now what?
Perhaps you work or live with a young Australian, or maybe they are your customer. Understanding the differences between generations is only the first step. The question now becomes this: What can we do to communicate, understand, live with and more effectively work with young people?
I work with health professionals, educators, parents and others who are looking to do exactly this. We have spent hours together brainstorming through strategies and approaches. Although there is no space to go through these in this chapter, I am confident that it is possible to communicate, understand, live with and more effectively work with young people.
But there is good news and bad news.
The bad news is this: it takes effort. We can’t keep doing the same old thing. We can’t communicate with young people in the same way we communicate with older people. Young people won’t be taught in the same way they used to be taught, they don’t listen to the same health messages that used to work, and they don’t respond to the same parenting methods that worked with us. All of us who work with young people, need to be rethinking and re-evaluating our approach.
The good news? It’s worth the effort. This generation of young people have an incredible amount to offer our world. I talked to a GP last week who was working with me to increase her understanding of teens and young adults. She said this:
“I love working with young people. They don’t play games with me. They’re honest, and funny. They see through any false-ness. I’ve learnt a lot from them”
I don’t believe the doom and gloom stories about this generation. I see their promise. I’m optimistic about what they bring to us – today and in the future. Perhaps belief in their potential is the most important gift we can give young people.
A teacher I spoke with last year told me this story. She had two students in her class with very similar names; one was an exceptional student, the other caused her constant headaches. On parent-teacher interview night, she spoke to the parents of the exceptional student, and told them how much she enjoyed having him in her class. She raved about both his abilities and his personality. After they left, she was going over her student lists when she realised she’d got the students with the similar names mixed up. The parents she had just saw, were in fact the parents of the “problem” student. Too embarrassed to admit her mistake, she simply let it go, and hoped there would be no repercussions. In fact, there were – but not what she expected. Over the next few weeks, something amazing happened. The “problem” student dramatically changed into a hard-working, likeable, capable student. He literally became as how she had described him to his parents. This teacher told me she never forgot this experience and that it taught her the power of showing young people you believe in them.
Our Common Humanity
I’ve talked mostly about generational differences in this chapter. However, I’d like to finish with a point about generational similarities.
In counselling and speaking to more than 10,000 vastly different young Australians over the last decade, I have found that underneath the differences, every young person has a few basic human drives. And these human drives exist for all of us.
Young people want to be loved and accepted – just like us. Young people want to be respected and feel good about themselves – just like us. Young people are searching for meaning in life – just like us.
The challenge for those of us who work with this new generation is to respect, learn about and appreciate their differences, while at the same time recognising the humanity in them, and in all of us. I hope you (whatever your life’s work consists of) can find the joy and satisfaction of living in a world with this new generation of young people.
© Kirrilie Smout 2006. Please feel free to reproduce this article with acknowledgement.
Kirrilie Smout
Innovate Psychology and Education
e: kirriliesmout@innovateonline.net
p: 08 8357 1711
w: www.innovateonline.net