At this time of year, teenagers are keen to celebrate the end of school with friends at parties (or “gatherings” as they seem to be called these days).  It is important to understand how vital these get togethers are for young people. For us as adults, catching up with friends might simply be a luxury – but for young people, it is necessary for their development. Spending time with friends is part of how young people become socially well adjusted adults.  In addition, in the cut throat world of adolescence, if you don’t attend various events then you run the very real risk of being ostracised by your peers.  We may well say that these are the kinds of friends not worth having, but many teens don’t have

that choice, nor do they always have other well developed aspects of their life (eg career, parenting, hobbies) that they can invest in instead of friendships. However, parents should also be well informed about the kinds of potentially dangerous situations young people face at social gatherings.  Being informed means we can then talk to young people about how they might handle situations, or help minimise dangers.  What are these dangers?  Alcohol is by far the most the likely drug to be consumed at teen gatherings.  The combination of alcohol and party dynamics means that young people may be at risk for unwanted or regretted sexual experiences, violence (especially for

 young men), unwanted or regretted drug use (and the varying health consequences of this drug use) and road accidents (both for drivers, passengers and pedestrians).  Depending upon the age of the teenager and their relationship with them, parents will need to do varying amounts of inquiring, monitoring and supervision.  Teenagers will almost always resist this.  We should approach teenagers’ reluctance for us to “interfere” with both compassion and resolve.  In other words, we need to be compassionate regarding the peer pressure teens experience (by the way, teenagers very rarely admit to experiencing peer pressure, but all of them do)

and the embarrassment and humiliation they suffer when they feel different to the rest of their peers (eg mum rings to check where the party is/ no-one else’s mum does/ they consequently feel “young” and “inexperienced”).  We should offer sympathy, support and try to minimise the embarrassment that occurs where possible (eg picking them up a block away, asking a parent not to pass on that we have called etc).  However, we should also act with resolve in protecting our young people.  Despite a young person’s wishes, it makes sense to place some restrictions on where they go, with whom and with what kind of transport – depending on age and maturity – simply for the sake of their safety