Number 14
Here is the latest edition of YouthMoves – a news-sheet for people interested in youth issues in
Written and Produced by Kirrilie Smout, Psychologist, Speaker and Youth Specialist
Please note you are receiving this email after signing up for it at a seminar or via the web. For details about unsubscribing, go to the end of this email message.
Welcome to the latest edition of YouthMoves, a newsletter for those who work with and want to understand young Australians. YouthMoves exists to give ‘snatches’ of youth news, info and sources relevant to busy people relating to young people.
What’s in this issue?
- Just Talking to Teens – Why is it sometimes so HARD?!?
- Find out about useful youth resources
- FORUM: Teens With No Respect???
- Find out about upcoming youth events
- Sustain! E-tutoring program for teenagers
- Our contact details
- Subscription info
- PLUS interesting statistics and quotes
JUST TALKING TO TEENS – WHY IS IT SOMETIMES SO HARD?!?
Communicating with teenagers can be tricky. If you find teenagers tend to give you one word answers, are reluctant to give information, or seem annoyed at the most innocuous questions, you are not alone! There are a number of reasons for these communication breakdowns. First, understand that teens are not practised communicators about serious issues. As adults, we have lived through many years of conversing about topics that matter. We have learnt the subtleties involved in sharing thoughts and listening to others. We have learnt what works – and what doesn’t - in these conversations. Teenagers have not had this experience. They are still learning the subtle conversational skills we take for granted.
Another reason why teenagers don’t often converse particularly well with adults is because they are often being asked about issues that they do not care a great deal about. Imagine if you were doing a project at work, and your boss kept asking you about the paper you were using to write notes on – what was it’s thickness? Where did you get the paper? How did you feel about the paper? Was the paper the “right” paper for the job? And so on. You might endure the questions, but not particularly enjoy the conversation.
Some teenagers feel this way when being asked a great deal about school and homework for example. Often, teenagers don’t care a great deal about the details of school and school-work – they do it, but it is not of great interest to them. So they don’t naturally respond well in conversation about it.
Another reason why teenagers don’t often respond well in conversation is related to their cognitive development. Recent research indicates that parts of teenagers’ brains (in particular the frontal lobes, responsible for planning, decision making and complex reasoning) are not fully “grown” until their early 20’s. In other words, teenagers often simply do not have the “brain power” to converse at a complex, rational level about some topics. They find it difficult to see the “grey” between the black and white. They find it hard to delay or put off something they really want. They are not always aware of their own reasons and emotions. This is not due to a basic personality deficit, but simply to do with a still developing brain.
Being aware of these factors sometimes helps us be more tolerant and patient as we communicate with young people. This is important, because as adults we must continue to attempt to communicate with teens. They need us.
STATS and FACTS
Nearly 40% of 15 year olds have tried marijuana according to a National Drug survey conducted in 2003.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!
UPCOMING EVENTS AND RESOURCES
A chance for youth to have a say! Talkback Classroom is a radio forum where youth ask the questions. Youth ask politicians and public figures questions on issues important for young people. School students aged over 16 years can apply to be on the interviewing panel. They will be flown to
Get youth involved – where can youth volunteer? ActNow is an online volunteering service for ages 16-35 that will match young adults to opportunities in areas such as the environment, sports, arts, human rights, working with animals and helping kids. Check out http://www.actnow.com.au or phone (02) 9818 3055 or email stephanie@inspire.org.au
National Parenting Conference for people who provide support and education for parents will be in September 2004. More info? Contact The Centre for Parenting, Child and Youth Health (08) 8303 1581 or email caudle.chris@saugov.sa.gov.au
FORUM:
“I believe teens today have much less respect for their elders than before. Why is this?” Frustrated.
Dear Frustrated,
There is no doubt that young people do not necessarily “respect” people in authority positions. I believe there are several factors that contribute to this apparent lack of respect.
First, teenagers are less motivated by fear than ever before. They are not afraid of getting the strap at school (it doesn’t happen). Generally, they are not afraid of losing their job (the average person has 10-15 jobs in their lifetime, so changing jobs is expected). They are not afraid of being sent to juvenile detention without due process (mediation is the norm). Often, they are not afraid of authority figures reporting on their behaviour to their parents (privacy laws often prevent this). Rightly or wrongly, teenagers do not make as many decisions based on fear as previous generations were forced to do.
Second, teenagers are very aware of the “flaws” in our authority systems. The problems in the education system are openly discussed. The hypocrisy in the church is evident. The corruption in the police and justice system is well known. Parents discuss with their children another parents’ failings. Teenagers do not have idealistic notions of authority figures. They were disabused of them long ago.
Third, we taught this generation to be independent of authority. From the time they could walk we told them – “you can do it for yourself”. We ask them to stay at home and look after younger siblings. We ask them to learn for themselves at school. We expect them to make life decisions at a young age. We taught young people to be independent. They learnt well.
Teenagers were not born “disrespectful”. They learnt how to behave from the world around them. My view is that the consequences of this have been both positive and painful. But we can’t blame the teens.
Regards, Kirrilie
RESOURCES
YOUTH CAN CHANGE THE WORLD
20 stories of how youth have made an impact in areas such as violence, HIV/AIDS, environment degradation and homelessness. Download their stories from http://www.iyfnet.org/uploads/YouthInAction2003.pdf
HOT TOPIC – SEXUALITY
Struggling to find resources on perceptions, definitions, gender, best practice and strategies to affirm young people’s sexuality? Check out http://www.naah.org.au/document/NAAHsexualityposition.pdf
WHAT MAKES A
Geoff Masters discusses what features good schools have in common. To find out more go to → http://www.acer.edu.au/publications/newsletters/eNews/2004/ good_schools_feb04.htm
SUSTAIN!
Want ONGOING support for students in helping them manage their time, motivate themselves to study and effectively manage exams? Sign up for Sustain! A weekly email for students with teen-friendly study tips and students can email in any questions, any time. Info at www.innovateonline.net
If you would like to see the back issues of Youth Moves, log on to our website www.innovateonline.net If I can assist your work with young people in any way (by offering counselling services, speaking/training or just answering a question about youth issues), please feel free to phone me on (08) 8357 1711, or email kirriliesmout@innovateonline.net.
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