Number 19
Here is the latest edition of YouthMoves – a news-sheet for people interested in youth issues in
Written and Produced by Kirrilie Smout, Psychologist, Speaker and Youth Specialist
WELCOME
Welcome to the latest edition of YouthMoves, a news-sheet that gives ‘snatches’ of youth news, info & resources relevant to busy people relating to teens.
What’s in this issue?
- OUTRAGED – Teenagers and anger
- Undereating teens
- PLUS find out about useful youth resources
- PLUS find out about upcoming youth events
- Our contact details
- How to unsubscribe OR join up friends and collegues to this newsletter
If you would like to see the back issues of Youth Moves log onto our website www.innovateonline.net
If I can assist your work with young people in any way (by offering counselling services, speaking/training or just answering a question about youth issues), please feel free to phone me on 8357 1711, or email kirriliesmout@innovateonline.net.
OUTRAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Teenagers get angry. This is good, healthy and natural. Unless they get angry, teenagers will never learn to deal with it effectively. We need not tolerate rudeness, threats or aggressive behaviour in teenagers. But we must not punish anger itself.
Teaching teenagers anger management is a topic too broad for this article, but here are some ideas to start us thinking.
First, give permission for teenagers to feel angry. We can tell teenagers explicitly, “in this classroom/house, it is okay to be angry sometimes. I get angry sometimes”. For some teenagers it can help to talk about the evolutionary advantages of anger. In my presentations to teenagers on this topic, I talk about how our brains are “hard-wired” to get angry when our goals are threatened. The individuals who got angry in the jungle were the ones who survived.
Help teenagers identify anger and learn to give voice to it. This can be as simple as mildly stated reflections to the teenager, “I guess you feel pretty annoyed about that” whenever you sense anger. Help them learn to describe their anger (irritated, frustrated, annoyed, furious). Gently train the teenager that anger is part of life that they need to experience, not be saved from. Initially this is easier when they are angry at someone else, but eventually can be incorporated into direct conflicts.
We also need to teach teenagers how to deal with their physiological response of anger. Concentrating our attention on breathing slowly and deeply (I give teenagers the image of slowly inflating and deflating a balloon in their stomach) will calm raging hormones and lower arousal. Teenagers should be taught this when calm, and need another reminder when angry (“I am going to talk this situation through with you, but before we do this, we are going to take 30 seconds to slow down and breathe”).
It can be helpful to share your own anger experiences with teenagers. Tell teenagers about your struggles with anger, the times you regretted your angry actions and the anger management strategies you find helpful.
In the long term, teenagers need to be taught a range of conflict resolution skills. These include: strategies to talk through difficult situations, ways of getting on with life when their goals are thwarted, what to do when the powerful and the not-powerful part in a conflict, the art of compromise and so on. It’s a tough job but if left undone will cause havoc in family, school and the teenagers’ life for many years.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK FROM DAVE BARRY, American writer and humourist
“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”
STATS and FACTS: In 1972, nearly 50% of young Australians (18-29yrs) read a newspaper every day. In 2003, only 20% did.
Source: The Australian, 20/2/03, p.4.
NEWS AND EVENTS
Schools Tree Day, July 29th, Around Australia : Join students around Australia in tree planting activities and fun outdoor eco-lessons on Planet Ark
National Indigenous Drug and Alcohol Conference, August 28th -30th,
The Mental Health Service (MHS) 2005 Conference, ‘Dancing to the Beat of a Different Drum: Mental Health; Social Inclusion; Citizenship’, August 30th – September 2nd, Adelaide: The annual conference of this national body has a diverse range of topics and speakers this year, who will focus on topics including human rights and mental health, and findings on the mental health of Indigenous Australians. For more information, go to the MHS’s website, http://www.themhs.org/.
Forum: UNDEREATING GIRLS
Dear Kirrilie,
Would you please tell me what is required nutritionally for a teenager? I am concerned my 14 year old daughter does not really eat enough. She does eat three (small) meals a day, but is very careful and only very occasionally has dessert.
Concerned Mum.
Dear Concerned Mum,
This is a statement I hear echoed every week. Teenage girls in particular are notorious for mild dieting or at least watching their weight very carefully. While some teenage girls become increasingly obsessive and develop eating disorders, most do not, and grow out of this stage in their late teens. In the meantime, a few strategies might help. Offer a range of foods at meal times, and have healthy snacks available between meals. Ask for her help in choosing recipes for meal times. Get her involved in shopping and cooking for meals. Encourage her to be aware of hunger cues (on a scale of five, I’m a 4 – how hungry are you?), and to eat when hungry.
Encourage exercise and suggest exercise (walks, gym sessions) together. Throw away the bathroom scales – I believe teenage girls should not weigh themselves. It is unnecessary and can be the start of obsessional behaviour. If she is weighing foods or counting calories, get rid of the food scales and calorie books also.
Most importantly, make sure she is not hearing unhealthy messages from you about weight. Do not talk about the weight, diets and body shape of anyone. Never comments (positively or negatively) on body size of your friends or family in front of her (eg, “she’s looking so great since she lost that weight”, “he’s looking a bit pudgy”). Body size should not be our focus. Focus on health and nutrition instead. If you continue to be concerned about her weight or behaviour, ask her to see a psychologist or nutritionist for a “check-up”.
Best Wishes, Kirrilie
RESOURCES
HOT TOPIC – YOUTH HOMELESSNESS
The Council for Homeless Persons has released a paper providing information and discussing issues surrounding youth homelessness. For more information, see the Council’s website, http://www.chp.org.au/youthpolicy.shtml.
CHOICE
The Australian Consumers’ Association produces an online version of Choice Magazine, and provides much of its information free. They provide information on such topics as health, food, child care and many other issues. Their website is http://www.choice.com.au.
A PICTURE OF
The Australian Institute for Health and Welfare (AIHW) released on May 2nd, 2005 this report provides a comprehensive overview of the health, development and wellbeing of
Produced by Kirrilie Smout, Psychologist and Professional Speaker specialising in Australian Youth Issues. Kirrilie is available for keynote presentations, training, counselling/assessment of young people, and offering comment on youth issues. For information please contact Innovate Psychology and Education: phone 8357 1711 or go to www.innovateonline.net
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