Number 23
Here is the latest edition of YouthMoves – a news-sheet for people interested in youth issues in
Written and Produced by Kirrilie Smout, Psychologist, Speaker and Youth Specialist
WELCOME
Welcome to the latest edition of YouthMoves, a news-sheet that gives ‘snatches’ of youth news, info & resources relevant to busy people relating to teens.
What’s in this issue?
- Grief and teenagers
- Tips for helping teens revise
- PLUS find out about useful youth resources
- PLUS find out about upcoming youth events
- Our contact details
- How to unsubscribe OR join up friends and colleagues to this newsletter
If you would like to see the back issues of Youth Moves log onto our website www.innovateonline.net
If I can assist your work with young people in any way (by offering counselling services, speaking/training or just answering a question about youth issues), please feel free to phone me on 8357 1711, or email kirriliesmout@innovateonline.net.
PS, I am often asked about reprints: Please feel free to reprint articles in school newsletters providing the following acknowledgement is made: Kirrilie Smout, Innovate Psychology and Education, www.innovateonline.net.
GRIEF AND TEENAGERS
I have recently been working with several teens grieving for deceased family members or friends. I have outlined a few ideas about grief that may be useful for YouthMoves readers who know other grieving teens.
There is no “correct” way to grieve. Some teens cry lots. Some cry infrequently. Some teens feel angry. Some don’t. Some teens feel guilty, others don’t. Some teenagers want life to be “back to normal” ASAP, some don’t want life to go on as usual. Some teens want to talk about their grief a lot. Many don’t. All of these coping mechanisms are usually okay.
Teens need long lasting, but non-intrusive support. It is useful for teens to have designated support people available for when they need to talk. Reminding teens that we care for them, giving them opportunities to talk and regularly “checking in” on teens over a period of months is more useful than intensive attention over a period of weeks.
Provide grief education. It is useful for all members of a grieving teenagers community (the teen, friends of the teen, teachers and parents) to be informed about the kinds of emotions, behaviours and experiences common in grieving young people. This might occur for the teenager via a few sessions with a psychologist. Teachers should be given the opportunity for professional development in this area, and students should have some grief information presented to them.
It helps for teenagers to keep living life. We want to very gently encourage grieving teenagers to continue to be involved in regular activities. Going to school, playing sport, socialising and doing part time work are all important activities for teenagers to continue even while grieving. This doesn’t mean grieving teens can’t take a break from life when they need to, but it does mean that continuing to “live life” is a better long term strategy than withdrawal.
Understand that grief is an exhausting process, like psychogical “work”. Grieving teenagers are often exhausted, have less energy, motivation and concentration skills than others. Without recommending a complete “withdrawal” (see above) some teens therefore might need to slightly change their lifestyle in order to cope (ie dropping one school subject, slightly reducing part time job hours, getting more sleep).
Make allowances for grieving teenagers but still provide boundaries. We should provide a high level care for grieving teenagers and be exceptionally understanding of their sorrow and pain. However, grieving teenagers still need boundaries. Allowing grieving teens to “get away with” violent, inconsiderate or extremely rude behaviour only hurts them further in the long run.
This is a condensed version of a slightly longer article. If you would like me to email you the full length version, please email me on kirriliesmout@innovateonline.net
QUOTE OF THE WEEK FROM Dr. Robert H. Goddard (American rocket engineer,1882-1945)
“Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant with the weak and the wrong. Sometime in your life you will have been all of these.”
STATS and FACTS: 57% of young Australians know someone who has committed suicide or attempted suicide.
NEWS AND EVENTS
24/7: National forum: Work-related alcohol and drug use, June 29th-30th,
Annual Traumatic Stress Conference, September 14th – 16th,
Education Today Young Leaders Program Awards: Education Today and the Young Leaders Program are sponsoring the inaugural Education Today Young Leaders Program Awards, to celebrate the achievements of a primary school and secondary school student who has displayed exceptional leadership skills within their community, and who is a role model to their peers. To enter a student, go to http://educationtoday.com.au/YoungLeaders.html and submit the entry online.
Forum: How Can I Help My Student Revise for Exams?
My son is open to the idea of me helping him revise for his mid-year exams. How do I help him?
I am currently running seminars in many schools in
Make information you revise visual where possible. Use diagrams, colour, make things big, make models, pictures, put information on posters, use visual stories.
Make the information you revise connected to other information you already know. Organise information into groups or categories, find out how information is related to other school subjects, find out how it is related to what you learnt previously.
Make information you revise provoke emotion. Use humour, make up jokes about your work, connect concepts to sexy things, shocking things, scary things. Make up a song about ideas. Imagine the emotional impact of concepts.
Constantly test yourself as you revise. Make up cards or revision books that simply consist of sample questions/answers and use spare minutes in the day to test yourself.
Don’t just read over or write out notes. If you are reading over notes; READ ACTIVELY - read, cover, speak the info out loud from memory, check if you were right. If you are writing out notes; WRITE ACTIVELY - write, cover, speak the info out loud from memory, check.
As a parent you can also help your son by spending time interviewing the student about what they are learning.
Ask your teenager questions (either those in a text book, ones the teacher has suggested or ones the student generates themselves) and get them to see if they can answer it from memory.
Also be careful that this is not a “grilling” for the student. This exercise needs to be something that helps them rather than increases their stress.
Good luck. Kirrilie
RESOURCES
HOT TOPIC –RISK-TAKING BEHAVIOURS IN YOUTH
The National Youth Affairs Research Scheme (NYARS) has recently completed a review on public information campaigns addressing risk-taking behaviours by young people. It can be downloaded for free through the Australian Clearinghouse for Youth Studies at http://www.acys.utas.edu.au/nyars/pdfs/risk-taking/risk-all.pdf.
YOUNG CARERS
The Department of Family and Community Services and Carers Australia have developed a program offering respite to people under 25 who are primary care-givers. They have created Young Carers info and referral services, which can be accessed either by calling the Commonwealth Carers Resource Centre on 1800 242 636 or online at www.youngcarers.net.au.
YOUTH LEADERS
The Young Leaders Program aims to encourage the development of student leaders at primary and secondary school. Their website is designed for
both students and teachers, and includes tips
for encouraging the development of leadership
skills in students. The website address is:
http://www.parentingideas.com.au/nylp/yl.html.
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